I don't know what made me write in here tonight.  I was going to write to Dave, but he signed into messenger and i decided I would rather not burden him with my problems, or ruin his day when he wakes up soon (in Spain) and checks Facebook to see if his girlfriend wrote him.

 I hate the fact that I have no money right now.  All I do is sit around and think about all the things I would do if I had money.  I hate being fat right now, I hate that I KNOW so many of my closest friends are liars, and I hate that my grandma's gone.  These are the exact nights I would call her and she would make everything better.

I have absolutely no willpower right now.  No motivation, no anything.

All I do is sit around and think about what's wrong with the world, but I don't really do anything about it, not even my own life.

Chase is home, I guess I should go.  Maybe this venting will help me.

OK, I REALLY need to get better at this again. hehe

I took a random trip to Denver over the weekend... so much fun. Chase's team played Metro State and Colorado State, so I rode down with Chase's coach, who is suspended so he can't ride with the team. They lost, and it was sad... but a few of the guys are inelegible and everyone else was sick, so they kinda had an excuse.

I was so happy when they got back on Sunday morning! (Boyle and I left friday night, so we didnt get to see the saturday night game.)

Leaving for Butte on Wed... Chase is coming with and i'm soooo excited! You better get ready to party, Sam!

Umm... other than that... I quit playing poker. I got too frustrated and too mad at myself. So i don't know how long this quitting thing will last but I did turn down a game tonight so it's lasted at least one night!

Better get goin... gotta finish this paper before i leave on wed.

So i havent updated in freakin forever and ever and ever.

Everything is good (except I have no money!), school is good, Chase is good (except he's in long beach right now!).

My friend Erika got a DUI last night and it sucked... Mikey and Gover had to go get her out of jail.

Tonight Ashley, Nikia, and I are going to eat at Rooster's... Nikia's buying for me. LOL.

Chase and Craig are coming home with me for Thanksgiving... I'm excited :-) Should be fun times.

Anyway, that's about all that's exciting in my life right now... I'll better at updating, I promise!

The boys won 7-2 on Saturday night at UVSC. Chase scored and so did Craig... yay boys! haha.

I'm going to see Green Day and Jimmy Eat World Wednesday at the Delta Center.

We might be going to Eugene this weekend to watch U of O play USC. Kind of random, but the boys want to and if they get tickets they're getting me one too and making me go. haha.

If we dont go to Eugene, we're going to Logan to watch the D-1 team on friday, and then to Wendover on Saturday.

Grrr... I want it to be wednesday. I have too much homework to do tonight and tomorrow, and a test on wednesday. But after wednesday, its party time! :-)

Anyway, that's my story. Im going to play Euchre for a minute til its time for class.

So I have a VERY exciting night tonight of watching Fever Pitch and playing Euchre! I'm not being sarcastic, I'm really excited about it :-)

School is going soooo sooooo good. Except for hating most of my classes... lol. I LOVE my health communication class, so LOVING one class makes up for hating the rest (cuz usually i hate all of them). And staying caught up with the ones I hate helps too, ya know?

Played poker last night... I lost, it was stupid :-\ I REALLY REALLY am taking about a week off...

Anyway, I was just updating to kill a few minutes, so everyone have a wonderful day!

<3 Katie

I forgot to update about Wendover. Well, to make a long story short... me, Chase, Zane, Dave, Matt, and Craig went to Wendover on Saturday... got there about 7.... I didn't go to sleep until 4 in the morning on Sunday. It was fun, but kind of not fun... stayed up too long, got drunk and sobered up too many times... lost some money... won some money, lost some money. Ya know... it'll happen when you gamble and drink for like 30 hours straight.

This last weekend was kind of stupid... nobody really did anything. It was fun just hangin out and relaxing though. We played pokeron saturday night, and then again last night. I've been getting bored with poker lately, especially the home games... I think I might take a little break for a few weeks.

I just finished my Comm Law assignment which sucked because our professor didn't explain how to do it, but I think the rest of the class was as lost as I was... so hopefully its OK. Now I'm waiting til my 3 o'clock Health Comm class to start... sooooo bored.

I FINALLY got my fucking loan today. This school is so stupid. My brother had his grant and his loan like mid-summer. I think my checking account is overdrawn, which neither my grandma or my mom know about, so they said they'd put some money in for me so I could buy groceries this week because I have to mail my loan check up there to get deposited... but I don't know how much my account was overdrawn so the 200 they're putting in might not even cover that :-\ I HATE money... but after this check gets deposited I should be fine for a while... and hopefully I'll get some money for my birthday and Christmas.

Chase spent the night at my house last night but I think I'm just going to stay by myself tonight because I have some homework I need to get done, and he has practice early in the morning so I don't wanna wake up at 8 when he gets up. Plus its nice just having a night to sprawl out in bed :-) hehe...

The boys play BYU on saturday so TJ and I are going to drive down to Salt Lake and drink at Matt's house, then Matt, TJ, and I are going to Provo to watch the game. I'm excited to watch Chase play... of course I've seen him play before but this is the first time I'll see im play as my boyfriend :-) God i'm a nerd. Anyway, I'm gonna go to class... have a wonderful day everyone!

Remind me to talk about my weekend in Wendover... haha.

So Erica has PCOS (Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome) and she can never get pregnant, and her hair is falling out :-( Plus, the medication she's on makes it so she can't eat foods high in potassium... so there's quite a few things she can't eat. She said if her hair gets really bad before the medication starts working, she's shaving it and buying a wig. She seems pretty optimistic about the whole thing, saying it could be a lot worse... but I feel so bad for her. She also said Leena and I are like the only ones that really care, and the ones who DID take the two seconds to email her, she only felt like they did because they had to... so yeah, I feel bad for her.

Boys are so stupid. Well, one in particular anyway. Like I said earlier, Eric knows about Chase and I, and he was mad, but he was OK sort of. Well, yesterday when Chase got done with practice, Eric was waiting for him and yelled at him and bitched him out about it... so Chase was mad all day :-\ So, then later last night Chase went over and talked to Eric and Eric sort of apologized and stuff (for freaking out, not for being mad)... which is understandable I guess. I just hate him hate him HATE him.

So Chase and I go to the baseball game with Santi, Zane, Sal, Jess, Kate, Ali, Sara, Craig, etc, etc, etc, etc... and they decide they were going to play cards after the game (I haven't missed a card game since like January!) but Eric was playing too so I didn't wanna go over there after stuff had happened yesterday. Grrr... it sucked.

But anyway, Chase came back over to my house as soon as they were done playing last night and spent the night with me, it was fun and cute :-) He's soooooo nice to me all the time and so cute and all that good stuff. He makes me so happy :-)

Tonight I don't know what's going on... I only have one class tomorrow so if something happens I'll do it. I'm supposed to have free tickets to Flogging Molly tonight but Aaron isn't exactly being the most reliable person at the moment, so we'll see what happens. Plus, the show starts at 7, and Chase isn't done with class until 7:45. So yeah... I dunno.

Anyway, I was kinda just killin time before class starts so I better get goin'. Talk to you everyone later :-(

I don't think i'm going to give a completel update right now... but i'll see what i can do.

Vegas was so much fun :-) The first night we were there (we didnt get there til midnight-ish), we went to the Stardust and played poker and drank until 8am... ha, then went to the shithole restaraunt at our hotel and ate 2.99 steak and eggs, then went to sleep til like 3 in the afternoone. We played cards at the MGM (their poker room is amazing!!!), and we rode the rollercoaster on New York New York... it was Craig's first roller coaster... it was so fun! Chase left his wallet in the cab that night.... with a good 900 bucks in it :-( sad. So the next day i lent him 200 and he won about 400 of his back (playing at the Stardust again). So then on sunday we just got up and went to eat, walked around the strip, ended up playing poker at the stardust AGAIN and didnt leave until 12 that night (the boys had practice at 2 the next day). Long story short, we made it home just in time for them to go to practice (after pulling over about 20 min outside of vegas because Craig was falling asleep and Chase and I were too drunk to drive). I was crazy.

The last couple weeks have been so good :-) I love being back here, even though I hate Utah. Ive missed all my friends here so much... the parties have been soooo good this last week!

Eric got back and he kinda already knew about Chase and I (not the WHOLE story, but most of it), and Chase just said we've been hanging out a lot and stuff... Eric was mad but not as mad as I thought he'd be, and didn't flip out or anything, just told Chase he was upset. He's still been coming around though, and palying cards and stuff, so everything is ok for now... hopefully it will just keep getting better and better ya know :-)

Last night we went to the Ogden Raptors baseball game... got REALLY REALLY drunk, then went back to Chase's and played drunk poker and got even more drunk... Chase passed out at the poker table... it was so funny, I have pictures I'll try to get up at least on MySpace ;-)

ANYWAY, I'm gonna run to the grocery store and hang out at my apt for a bit... do some laundry, clean up, etc, etc, etc...

I am sooooooooooooo done with work!!!! WOO HOO!!!! NO more graveyards, no more ANYTHING... just chillin chillin chillin til I leave for UT on Friday! :-)

Chase and I have our reservations for Vegas... 160 bucks for three nights... not bad eh?

I just got done tanning... I'm turning into a girl, I swear... I CARE about being tan, and I really want fake boobs (kinda).

This is a random update, if you can't tell ;-) I think I'm just deliriously tired because I got a whole 3 hours of sleep yesterday... so besides that I've been awake for like 2 whole days.

So now I'm going to bed!

Well, I was hoping my mom would wait to move until I left, so I wouldn't have to help... because I have hardly anything here. Some clothes, shower/getting ready stuff and yup... thats about it. So it sucks moving everyone else's stuff (my mom's and Codys), and Cody's not even here to help. SO yeah, it sucks... plus my mom is like the most unorganized person ever :-\ My family all went to dinner but I stayed here to nap so she said she'd bring me dinner, which, she did, but there's no silverware here so I can't eat it. Sad... lol.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY can't wait to leave here... I wanna be back with my friends sooooooo bad.... and just be on my own. I HATE HATE HATE living at home. I'm trying to get Wednesday night off so I can help my mom with the new place that day, instead of working all night. Then I'd only have 4 days of work left, too. I really feel like just calling off on Tuesday AND Wednesday, but I don't wanna burn these bridges... cuz my boss told me I could work during Christmas break too if I came home AND I'd have a job next summer if I wanted it. So yeah, I guess I'm stuck with these fucking graveyards. 5 in a row is a lot though... I'm a little upset about it. Hopefully tips are alright... then I'll feel better about them. I made 75 bucks last night! It was fun :-)

I have to pick Leena up at the airport tomorrow morning, and then I have a tanning appt at 10:30, then I'm going to sleep. I've been up since 8 today, had about 4 hours of sleep last night, and a little hour nap a bit ago... not NEAR enough sleep to pull this graveyard off, I don't know how I'm going to do it. Guess I'll make it :-\ Plus I can be REALLLLLLLY lazy because it's not like I'll get in trouble in the next 4 or 5 days.

Well, I'm off to work (work is sooooooo overrated!!), so everyone have a WONDERFUL night!

ALL ABOUT YO0U*-

NAME ON BiRTH CERTiFiCATE: Katie Marie Mattingly
BETTER KNOWN AS: Kat, Kat Matt, Katie
BiRTHDAY: 11-29-83
AGE: 21
SIBLINGS: Younger bro, 16, and twin bro
SHOE SiZE: 8 1/2
HEiGHT: 5'6"


-*FAVORiTES*-

COLOR: red and purple
NUMBER: 23, 51, 13
LETTER: K
SPORT: hockey
DAY OF THE WEEk: Friday
SEASON: I like early fall, when everyone's back from summer and in party mode
TEACHER: Howard Noel
SUBJECT: public speaking
ANiMAL: cats n dogs
CEREAL: Apple jacks!
ICE-CREAM: rocky road or goo goo cluster
TV CHANNEL: TLC, TBS, Discovery
TV SHOW: Surreal Life and Celebrity Fit Club
MOViE: Boondock Saints, Sin City, Fever Pitch
SONG: Rock n Roll - The Sounds, Stay With me - Josh Gracin
SESAME STREET CHARACTER: the garbage can guy...?
RUGRAT: phil and lil... cuz they're cute little twins
CHARACTER RESiDiNG iN 100 ACRE WOODS: no idea

-*THiS OR THAT*-
REAL WORLD OR ROAD RULES: road rules for sure... i could do all that shit!
MTV OR VH1: VH1, MTV plays WAY too much rap n black bullshit
NiCkELODEON OR DiSNEY: Disney
JESSiCA SiMPSON OR ASHLEE SiMPSON: NEITHER!!!!!!!!!
HiLARY DUFF OR HAYLEE DUFF: Hilary, just for you, Chase... haha
DAY OR NiGHT: night for sure... i'm always up all night
LiGHT OR DARk: i love the dark
SUNSET OR SUNRiSE: sunset, i'm still at work during the sunrise
CRAYONS OR COLORED PENCiLS: crayons
BEACH OR BOARDWALk: beach for sure
MALL OR MOViES: movies, malls are annoying
BOYS OR GiRLS: boys boys boys

-*TRUE OR FALSE*-
YOU'D TAkE A BULLET FOR A FRiEND: i dont like these questions... its like... isnt knowing you're friends enough? here, let me shoot you to see if you're my real friend.
YOU'D DiE FOR LOVE: like i said before...
YOU'D kiLL FOR YOUR BEST FRiEND: hmmm...
YOU'D kiSS YOUR BEST FRiEND: fuck yeah!
ALL iS FAiR iN LOVE AND WAR: nah... not into playin games

-*IN THE PAST MONTH, HAVE YOU*-
DRANk ALCOHOL: duh
SMOkED CiGARETTES: ummm... yup
DONE DRUGS: yeah, i smoked the other morning when i got off work... but its been over a month since i've rolled
WENT TO A PARTY: nope
CRiED: yup
LiED TO YOUR PARENTS: nope
GOT iNTO AN ARGUMENT WiTH A FRiEND: not really an argument... more like a "have a nice life-we're not friends anymore" talk
GOT iNTO A FiGHT: nope
BEEN TO THE MOViES: just the drive in
BEEN TO THE MALL: yeah
BROkEN THE LAW: sure


-*YES OR N0*-
DO YOU BELiEVE iN GOD?: nope
DO YOU LOVE YOUR LiFE?: of course, i can't think of a single thing that i want right now that I dont have :-)
DO YOU SMiLE A LOT?: yeah, i have to... its part of my job... haha
DO YOU LiVE YOUR LiFE SPONTANEOUSLY?: fuck yeah... vegas, drunk at 3am anyone?
ARE YOU THE LiFE OF THE PARTY?: i wouldnt say the "life" of the party... just havin fun with everyone else.... i don't like to show off

I don't want to be fat anymore :-(

I really think I'm developing an eating disorder or some kind of weird weight thing.

Like, I get up in the middle of the night to weigh myself. Well, I have the last couple anyway... when I work graveyards I weight myself about 80 times during the day. Is that bad?

I'm not high maintainence or anything like that... I don't know why I've been freaking out about it lately. :-(

I can't remember the last time I was this tired... seriously. Ok I can... its when Chase and I stayed up til like 6 in the morning, slept til 11, then went out on the boat in the sun. haha.

ANYWAY, I worked from 11pm-7am, came home and TRIED to sleep, because I had to go back to work at 6 tonight... but people kept calling (someone called my house and seriously let it ring for like 10 minutes) and my dog was wakin me up. So i got about 3 hours of sleep, then went baaaaack to work. It was such a shitty night too... usually that shift makes about 50 or so in tips... i made a whole 27 dollars! grrrr... machines just weren't payin out, and the ones that did were to assholes.

I have tomorrow off, but I don't know if I'm going to do anything because I might just sleep for like 24 hours. haha.

Utah is coming so soon :-)

Yesterday before work I went to dinner with Leena, Erica, Marissa, Brooke and Lori! It was so much fun, we all ordered really yummy drinks at Christina's... I'm glad we all got together before we leave again!

Anyway, I think I'm gonna go fall asleep... Chase will be callin to wake me up sometime, though :-) Goodnight everyone.

I can't WAIT to go back to UT... now that it's sooooo close I'm sooooo excited. I miss everyone sooooo much! I'm leaving for sure on the 12th, and my last day of work is the 10th, so like 8 more days :-)

The weekend was pretty fun... I worked an 11 hour shift on Friday so I could have Saturday off. Erica, Leena, my mom and I went uptown and walked around for a bit. Leena had gotten her wisdom teeth out so she went home early, and Erica and I got way way way too drunk. It was so much fun though :-) Erica's leaving for Alaska sooooo soon!!!! I miss her so much :-( Leena's going to see her boyfriend soon too, so we all have like NO time to hang out before we all leave.

I smoked this morning when I got off work... it was fun, and I fell asleep sooo fast this morning. Usually it takes me forever to fall asleep, so it was nice.

Anyway, nothing TOO exciting has happened, just wanted to make a quick update :-)

Have a WONDERFUL day everyone!

OK, so... after the initial "livejournal incident" with Sam... everything kinda got straightened out. She called me a few days later and said we've been friends for too long, etc, etc, etc... I thought everything was fine.

Well... I don't know what I expected it to go back to, because it's not like she'd been wanting to hang out with me or talk to me before that anyway. I guess after the last week or so I've just realized that it's not a friendship to her anymore, and its turning into that for me too. I mean... she doesn't have time for me with her new friends in Georgia. She can't even comment on my livejournal or comment back the comments I leave her :-(

She says she never has time to come to Butte or anything like that, so I went down there yesterday, mostly to go shopping, but a LOT to try to see her before I leave. After she didn't call me back or text me at ALLLLLL yesterday, it made me really sad. I understand if she had stuff to take care of at work, but i was just hangin out in Bozeman waiting. So I don't know.

Sam - if you actually take the time to read this and don't just skip over it to your GA friends (YES I'M FUCKING JEALOUS), I miss ya...

Yesterday was pretty uneventful... I slept til about 3ish, then I got up, got ready and went to Bozeman. I called Sam and she said somethin was going on at work so she'd call me back. After shopping I kinda just drove around for a few n hung out waiting for her to call me back but she never did so I just went back to Butte. I was hopin to see her before I went back to UT :-(

I got like 5 tanktops... and that's all. But i was in desperate need of tanktops, so yeah. When I got back to Butte I went to Wal-Mart and got a digicam. I'm excited... new pics on myspace sooooon for sure!

So I got home and was just hangin out with my mom, and my work called and said Dan didn't show up for his graveyard shift, and Alicia asked if I could come in. I figured I didn't have anything better to do so I went. It'll be nice on the next paycheck ;-)

After I got off work, I stopped at the new casino that just opened (Montana Lil's), put in 10 bucks, and won 50 playin Keno... on the same machine I won on the other morning playin video poker. I hope my luck stays with me til after Vegas!!! Maybe I shouldn't wear it out... haha.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna go to sleep now, I'm dead tired after not expecting that graveyard shift last night. Have a wonderful day!

Tomorrow is going to be a fun day! haha

Well, I get off work at 7am, so I'm going to come home and sleep for a while, then I'm going to go to Bozeman around 4 or 5... on a mission for...

jeans
tanktops
cuuuuuute clothes

AND

a digicam!!!!!

Leena has to work so she can't come with me, and my mom is going to Missoula with my bro, so I guess I'm goin by myself :-)

Oh yeah, AND, i stopped at the casino on my way home from work this morning and won 100 bucks!!! yay! Hopefully I'll do good in tips tonight, so then tomorrow I won't have to spend hardly any money out of my checking for my shopping spree ;-) hehe.

'Night everyone!

We had an earthquake last night!!! 5.6 on the Richter... not HUGE but still, it was crazy! I'll elaborate later...